Call Me By My Title 2

(In case you didn’t read the first one, you can HERE)

I’ll keep this brief.

I wanted a position that would have given me a title that speaks to the core of me. It passed the test every major decision I make have to pass – whether or not it feeds into my core values: Authenticity, Balance, Creativity, Growth, and Service. Well, I didn’t get the position.

The End!

Now, how’s that for keeping it brief?

Just in case you’re not familiar with the idea behind CALL ME BY MY TITLE, it’s a way of embracing (and even celebrating) failure, missed opportunities, mistakes, etc.

The title I would have assumed, if I was granted the opportunity for this new role, would have been perfect; especially since it’s in the line of the work I foresee myself doing for the rest of my life in the capacity of a school psychologist. Helping humans, and especially kids – since things we are introduced to when we are young tend to mold and shape us into the adults we become! – to realize their full potential is a lifelong passion of mine. The role, as a Behavior Technician, would have enabled me to work with autistic children to help them develop skills (developmental and social) needed for a functional life. Though I missed the chance at this opportunity, you can still call me by that title – for it represents who I am.

So, here’s a toast to a missed opportunity. Cheers!

And just before you think I’m crazy, below is the creed (as regards to failure and missed opportunities) I live by. Mull it over, maybe even try it once, and you might come to the conclusion that I’m not that crazy after all!

Robert Sutton: Reward success and failure, punish inaction!

Yeah, still sounds crazy, right? Well, “It’s important to have tried, and failed than not try at all is the message.

Before this new approach, receiving the rejection email (no matter how beautifully worded it was!) could have put a damp on my day, but it didn’t!. Well, at least it shouldn’t! – not when the kids I work with presently decided to draw pictures of me! In itself, that’s a reward right there! And they have no clue…

Oh, The Maze!

This post (now edited) was originally posted here —-> It was meant to highlight how I employed this principle below:

In his book, “Weird Ideas That Work” (which I just got in the mail a few days ago, *but only skimmed through) Robert Sutton says that we should reward our failures and successes but punish inaction.

June 25th, 5:07 PM

Today was very interesting. I don’t want to ramble as much as I would love to, partly because I don’t really have much time to post this…and I really want to post it now, it’s been sitting in the draft folder few days now.

Maybe these tweets will give an idea what it’s basically about!

Can’t find the location I’m supposed to go but still 2nd guessing asking for help smh

— Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Okay that wasn’t so bad…I asked, but if I don’t get it this time…I think it’s homebound — Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Whoo…and I hate directions. But I asked and I might just get where I’m going…hopefully. — Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Ahaha, this is not funny yo. Now battery’s low…

— Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

#EpicFail I didn’t get to where I’m going. Gonna go get me some ice cream & head home. -> Reward your successes & failures, punish inaction.

— Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Well, because my failure today, I at least got a pint of ice-cream out of it, which might not have happened otherwise… #worthit — Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

If it still doesn’t make sense, maybe these will?

@aeWHYoh the maze… — Michelle A. (@MiiChiLe) June 25, 2012

@aeWHYoh how fascinating!

— Michelle A. (@MiiChiLe) June 25, 2012

What exactly happened today, and what is the maze? How fascinating? What does these all mean?

July 12th, around 6 PM

I was at the Menil Collection, a very nice museum here in Houston where I live. In the midst of all the awesome artworks, paintings, drawings, and all the other incomprehensible art forms in there which I found, one stood out. It was Frank Stella’s “Avicenna”, which I sadly now can’t find a very good picture of online. This one below is pretty much close to what it was. It’s a work by him as well. It reminds me of a maze…and or like Michelle tweeted, “the maze”

I’m sure you’re still wondering what in the world “the maze” is! Patience dear, patience!

Well, long story short:

June 25th, …AM till something PM.

Today, I tried to get somewhere that I really wanted to go (I almost changed my mind about going) but couldn’t get there! I tried and tried to find the location AND couldn’t. I was on the phone with the person I was to meet, and he kept directing me, over and over again…AND still I didn’t get it. I actually never do! I was circling the whole neighborhood…on my feet, which are pretty much sore at this moment. Picturing me with a sad face wouldn’t be questioned, but rather it’s inverted, i.e I have something like this –> 🙂 on my face …

I applied Robert Sutton’s rule and got myself a pint of ice cream. So, not a bad day altogether.

Now for the maze, its history can be traced back to my experience at LeaderShape (remember how I said every post on here is going to refer to my experience there? Read the ABOUT section if you don’t know what I’m talking about). During one of the challenge courses, we were blindfolded, and told to find our ways out of a maze made of  ropes that kind of interlocked at some points. We were told that if we needed help, we should just call for it anytime. I was thinking to myself what do I need help for? All I need to do is find my way out of the maze, simple enough! The trick though was that there was really no way out…the only way out being for one to ask for help.

I was one of the two last persons to get out in the group of about 12 or so people that walked the maze!

All I said was (frustrated at this point) “Okay, Jeff can you help me?”, and he removed my blindfold…only to see everyone else standing outside!

As you would have guessed, I was furious!

To get out, all I had to do was ask for help! But…

Ask for help? Like, really?” That’s what you have to do in order to get out?

And the “how fascinating” part? It’s what we learned (at LeaderShape) to say whenever we made any mistake!

So, you can join us too, and stop taking yourself too seriously…Failure is part of life. Learn from em, and move on. Quit sulking!

Revised: Call Me By My Title – Writing Consultant

Writing consultant! That’s an awesome title, don’t you agree? Well, it’s the kind of title that comes along with working with the Writing Center of the school I attend – University of Houston – where I graduate from this Fall.

Anyways, I love writing, that’s for you who doesn’t know already! The aim was to do something before I graduate where my love for writing is put to use (and wouldn’t mind that it’s paid too) So when I heard about this opportunity at the Writing Center, through Sarayu, who was my Family Cluster Facilitator at LeaderShape, I was really stoked. I got back from LeaderShape and emailed them right away! And we fixed an interview date for a couple of days afterwards. This was in March. They told me to bring a sample of my writing, and I took along one which I wrote for my Literature & Medicine class. It was an awesome experience, I tell you. I even caught a glimpse of one of the interviewers reading the paper, and I could tell she was feeling it.

The interview was really incredible, and it went really well…as per the standard of how well an interview could possibly go. The questions that were asked were interesting, and I got the chance to answer them as honestly as I could. It was amazing! During the course of the interview I even got the chance to say a couple of lines that made the people doing the interview laugh. It really was amazing. I was asked about my future goals, my current goals, what lessons I’ve learned from experiences I penned down on my resume, etc. Awesome stuff like that! And after the interview, I shook hands with the three of them, and they informed me that they were going to email me about their decision.

I hadn’t even left there when I already started working my schedule for the Fall semester around it. I was really excited, and I was very confident I was going to get it.

So, good news and bad news…which would you like to hear first? Only the tricky thing though is that there is no bad news!

Ready?

I got an email from the Writing Center in the morning of June 19th. They informed me that they were really glad I did the interview with them AND that they didn’t have a position for me for the Fall. Awesome, right?

See what I did there? I put AND where maybe before now I would have put BUT! (This is something I learned from LeaderShape, either from Jose Estrada, or Vanessa, not sure! They said “Use AND instead of BUT…”)

Thankfully though, but is almost becoming extinct in my vocabulary arsenal nowadays…I don’t need it! At least not when one is thinking of endless opportunities.

I’m sure you’re probably thinking right now, this guy is a total idiot!!!? Who in the world writes in this manner about an opportunity they desperately want AND didn’t get? Well, you’re right, ME! However, I’m not alone though.

In his book, “Weird Ideas That Work” (which I just got in the mail a few days ago, *but only skimmed through) Robert Sutton says that we should reward our failures and successes but punish inaction.

Similar to that idea is this quote from Theodore Roosevelt (which I stole from Jeremy Gutsche’s  “Exploiting Chaos”, another book I got in the mail a few days ago, *but only skimmed through)

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in that grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat  – Theodore Roosevelt

So, see I’m not alone! It’s important to have tried, and failed than not try at all is the message. And hey, you get to learn one or two things along the way too. So bring out your most expensive glasses, open up that wine you’ve been saving for years because there is a huge cause to celebrate here…yeah, let’s toast to our failures – perceived or actual!

Juan, another awesome friend from LeaderShape told me that every NO (rejection; which is what we see them as) is a step closer to hearing that YES!

But before those YES-es? I say, it’s about freakin’ time we start celebrating them! – our failures that is.

And after you’ve gotten yourself drunk off of that wine, maybe you can listen to this song by Coldplay, called Lost! I’m sure Chris was drunk too when he wrote it, because what sober person says this:

Just because I’m losing, doesn’t mean I’m lost

And in the remixed version of the same song, which is called Lost+, Shawn Carter, the featured artist asks an all too important question, he says:

And the question is, “Is to have had and lost better than not having at all?”