Consider this post my victory chant since I can’t necessarily do what I would have wanted to do – to get on every rooftop and scream it out as loud as I possibly can. I lived!…
…in spite of the situations that threatened my will to; more so this year than ever in the history of my 24 years.
That to me – minus the few goals I accomplished and wrote about in the previous quarters – makes this year a success.
It’s true when I say that it’s been a very polarizing year in that there was too much to rejoice about yet at the same time too much that was painful. It left me confused as to how to navigate that “joy in the midst of pain”/”pain in the midst of joy” phenomenon. And for that reason, I didn’t celebrate as much as I needed to, and couldn’t grieve as much as I needed to. That’s the paradox of living.
Well, it’s almost over now. Here’s to many more years ahead and I’ll see you all next year.
As 2013 ended and the new year year began, the singular goal I set out for myself was to “LIVE, by embracing ALL that life has to offer.”
Who knew life would hold me accountable to that goal!? Overwhelmed, in response to the amount of curve balls – which I stopped counting – that life has thrown my way in the past months, is an understatement.
Regardless, all those experiences which have for the most part left me with nothing but disappointments, discouragements, frustrations and even almost despair have made me more desirous of learning what it means to be alive. It, in more ways than I can ever describe in words, fuels the desire to LIVE even more.
Now, I get it…
…or at least I’m learning to.
Amidst the submersion though, there were few moments I was able to come up for air; moments accompanied by intense joy and relief, moments that provided me with clarity and a renewed determination more than ever before.
With one of my LeaderShape friends, Michelle Alvarez, along with other volunteers I helped to pass out roses to women in Houston to show them how appreciated they are – for her #GiveARose Campaign.
I reunited with my Mom who I hadn’t seen in almost 7 years. The most blissful of all things that’s happened this year!
Just a few days ago, I completed my first year of graduate school as a School Psychology major. #2moreyearstogo
And of course, poetry… (that still makes me really happy – be it writing, listening or reading it!)
Well, until when you hear from me again – which will be soon, I promise! – I’ll be somewhere learning to make sense of this thing called life, continuing to embrace all that it has to offer me; the joy as well as the not-so-joyful.
I shall return here to make an announcement – a very big one, actually! – before the next quarter… let’s just hope everything goes to plan.
I leave you with this from a commencement speech by Jim Carrey, below:
Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you… I [have] learned… that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love…Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door… and… just walk through it.
And if you get the chance, do listen to the whole thing – it really spoke so much life (pun unintended, or maybe is) into me. It just might for you too.