2015 – A Dreamer’s Year In Review

Just as much as I did in 2014, I fought…to live. to live life to the fullest. Many things happened that attempted to stop me, that made me want to seek to embrace the hopelessness that often accompanies a dissatisfied life, rather than the hope I know that’s proven to be helpful in navigating my world as a dreamer. But, I fought.

I was dissatisfied, discouraged, disappointed…a lot in 2015.  I had to learn how to fight…for joy, in spite of…

It was not an easy year. It’s quite interesting though that as I looked through the pictures I took this year, though they were not in any way flashy, they tell a different story. They tell a story of someone doing a hell of a job achieving his dreams…

However, the moments I did not (or rather, could not dare) take pictures of tell a totally different story. They tell the story of a man who struggled, who failed, who fell…and who sometimes didn’t want to get up. They tell the story of a man who gave up…often a little too easily, and sometimes, not nearly enough. A huge portion of my 24th year – before my 25th birthday in September – was spent in 2015, and I wrote/said a few words about how tough it was in this post.

The last few months of 2015 compensated for how hard this year has been, but the “harvest” (so to speak) still wasn’t enough for me to understand why life had to forcibly teach me certain lessons.

To finish off the year on a good note, a friend of mine hosted a vision board party for the year 2016 a few days ago, and we each came up with a list of things we wanted to really accomplish in 2015 that we failed at. Mine below:

– get sponsorship deals
– get paid for speaking
– sell 1500 copies of my book: “thread, this wordweaver must!”
– pay off school loans
– do a better job with posting on this blog. I failed to keep the promise I made at the beginning of the year.
– and, (I did not write this one down though) get a poem into a journal

Trust me, there were many more that I didn’t share. I just felt these were some of the most important personal failures.

After we finished, we decided to talk about why some of these goals were not accomplished, and see how we could, going forward into the new year, do a better job. Some words came to mind as we shared, and we put them on a board (below)

I have no promises to make for the upcoming year. We’ll just have to see how it goes.

And as is my tradition to choose a word for each year, the word that’ll be guiding me in 2016 is: trust. A lot of it! This trust, as I understand it, will be aided by courage and authenticity.

For 2015, it was two words: partnership + create. And I believe I succeeded in doing that.

If I can make one promise, you’ll hear from me soon.

Thank You, 2013 – A Dreamer’s Year in Review

This has been a good year! Good in the sense that all my experiences (even the not so good ones) served a purpose. I do believe this year, I’ve been able to set a foundation for the life I’ll be building as the years roll on by. I really like who I’m becoming, and life this year has provided me with so many opportunities to help me uncover that even more.

First, I’d like to say that you dear readers might have noticed a decrease in the frequency of posts on this post, especially this year. To you all who really do enjoy what I have to say on here as it pertains to dreams, I’d like to apologize for it  but know that it is not without good reason.

This year, the deeds part of the blog – of Dreams and Deeds  – (glance over the about section of the blog if you may) took much more precedence, whereas it’s always been second nature for me to emphasize about the dreams. In essence, I was taking action (in my own little way that I can) towards achieving some of the dreams I’ve been talking about.

With the help of Facebook (and my journal), I’ll be sharing the highlights of my year in so far as they’ve helped to shape an outlook on life, where the daring (while somewhat small but yet scary!) for carrying out the deeds that’ll help fulfill certain dreams which as as a result makes me more open to what life has to offer. [The colored words in the post are clickable links for your perusal]

In *retrospect, it’s so beautiful to see how these experiences have in some way shaped the things I’ve written on here on the blog and vice versa.

*From the words of a man, Soren Kierkekaard, who I consider to be my favorite philosopher (what do you know, he’s an existentialist! Big surprise, eh?) :

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

And as I look back in order to understand the life I’ve lived forward since January of this year, I’ll talk about personal experiences of each month while also sharing the posts I managed to write in the respective months.

In January, right after graduation last year, I started work with an After School program. This will be my first job ever, and I’ll leave you to imagine the excitement at receiving my first pay stub. Looking back, this most likely set the tone for the year where I managed to find myself in a series of firsts. Here on the blog, there were posts about: goals for the new year; honoring the legacy of Martin Luther King; the human nature, and it’s longing for exploration.

The words shared from the third post about exploration reads:

The only limit is the one you set yourself.

And this I’ll come to understand, if only a bit, in the next few months.

I started off the very first day of February with an interview for a position that’ll later provide the content for the only post on the blog for that month. I would tell you whether I got the position or not, but I think I’ll let you check it out to find out for yourself.

Following the one of the goals I made for the year, Goal #13  – aptly titled: DO, I managed to watch a football game (the whole game!) I also managed to, as part of Goal #13, take more interest in politics by watching the State of the Union Address. For Goal #18, aimed at embodying the “we” spirit, I found myself assisting a friend with his project. 

The Diploma arrived at my doorsteps. I wrote a poem (about love) and a friend helped me to record it. As part of The Making A Difference Project by Jeremy Lin –  to support nonprofits that serve underprivileged youth in Houston, TX – PAIR (Partnership for the Advancement and Immersion of Refugees), an organization I was privileged to spend two semesters volunteering for won. A vote was all it took, from me and friends I shared the link with, and friends of those friends who shared the link and…. The next few months following this, the pictures from current volunteers and staff at PAIR will be testament to the impact of the support.

February was far from over though. On Facebook, I decided to pick someone randomly for each day of the week, and post as a status something nice (at least I hoped!) about them. The mere fact that I completed it was a success! Let alone the fact that I was able to add something of worth to people’s days. I’d like to think I was mostly influenced to do so by this video from SoulPancake. The month ends well, with me coming across a quote that will become defining (Whatever you do, don’t skip to October!) in the next few months.

“Be humble you are made of earth. Be noble you are made of stars”

March was mostly a fight for LIFE. It brought with it a reminder of a friend’s death the previous year. I avoided two collisions (with my first car, which I just started driving that month!). I cried! And the will to live was oh so essential! And live, I did. At times, all it took was something as simple as: reading a book – The Invitation; getting out to hang out with other people; conversations that sparked possibilities; the honest smile of a child – upon recalling a memory. And before the month ended, I could say:

You ever look back, smile, and say to yourself “It’s been a good life!”? I just did

It doesn’t come as a surprise to me that April was spent outside of Facebook – account was deactivated. The 3rd day of this new month, with me attending a simulcast event of TEDxChange, would later mark the material inception of my journey towards becoming a TEDx speaker.  There were small moments that ultimately coalesced into being able to write in my journal:

#Grateful: For Life. For all than I am, and all that I hope to be. Life is beautiful.

Also from my journal,

“I was totally captivated by the words of Rumi; and shouted like a maniac especially after reading most of the words…”

This would explain the post about him on the blog for the month. Interestingly, the only one for this month (I’m noticing a pattern here!)

I started this blog a year ago in May, which would by itself not have started if not for my experience at LeaderShape (also a year ago in May!) Few friends I made at LeaderShape graduated. There was another accident, which this time resulted in scratches (albeit minor) on the car. With the Citizenship Interview, I took a step closer to becoming a US citizen. I finished my position as an After School Counselor, but didn’t finish without the realization of how much of a difference I have made (and can make) in the lives of kids.

In June, I became an American. With an invitation to speak then perform a poem at the TEDGlobal 2013 simulcast, my TEDx journey continued.

Third day into July, a conversation to continue the journey took place with the TEDxHouston organizers. I visited a waterpark, something I do believe counts as achieving Goal #13, and tried to learn how to swim…key word: tried!

August started with a job interview for the Grad. Assistant position I currently have. Well, I started Grad. School (a specialist degree in School Psychology) Yet another first, I paid my first rest…ever! In what became an interesting turn of events, a camping trip with some friends became a visit to the beach. Again, Goal #13.

In September, I turned 23. 6 days before I did, there was another accident. The declaration in my poem, Unmask, becomes even much more stronger.

I am alive…I am here for a reason!

My journey led me to the TEDxHouston stage in October. (Clicking the picture will take you to the video)

If you watch the video, you’ll hear me mention something about the ubuntu philosophy which brought to me a realization that “I’m a product of the people I’ve surrounded myself with.” And I’m surrounded by people who are doing seemingly simple yet extraordinary things.

November rolled by, and with events I was invited to, I was able to spend time with people (friends who I’d known a while; and ones who, strangers before, recently have just become so) who identify with the same mission of making the world a much more friendlier place…in rather simple ways too. Some conversations sparked creative ideas…for life, as well as the work I do as a poet! For Thanksgiving, while I did not have a post on the blog, there were a few things to be thankful for:

And now December! I *finished my first semester as a graduate student (*for one, and considerably well, for another). Celebrated yet another graduation with friends. Overcame my irrational fear of using the washing machine (for some reason, I thought I would ruin either the machine, my clothes or who knows, both!) Just two days ago, had success with using chopsticks for an entire meal where before I would’ve ended up asking for a fork. And now, the end of the year.

Of course, I’m only writing exactly the things I’d like for you to know. Life, and our stories of it, does not present itself to us in a linear manner as I have managed to do here but the distractions, diversions, and even complete derails on this journey that we are all taking is minor, well, only in the face of the big dreams we have.

I am in no way dismissing experiences I’ve had this year of nights that sleep and food had to be sacrificed; nights when even with small victories, mistakes and perceived failures seemed so overwhelming enough to keep the tears flowing; car breakdown, eventually! (could be a result of the accidents I documented above?); days of insecurity, and bouts of self-doubt even when there’s a lot to be confident about… 

These are few things I could show you from my journal but that wouldn’t be necessary because in the same journal, you’ll see these words:

“…you don’t learn any other way but through experience and I am willing to go through life experiencing everything; that’s how you grow!”

For me, “everything” includes the fun moments, as well as the not-so-fun ones. And on that note, I’ll end the post the same way I began:

[2013] has been a good year! Good in the sense that all my experiences (even the not so good ones) served a purpose.

And if you’re wondering my plans for 2014, it’s simple (though it’s easy to want to avoid it): LIVE, by embracing ALL that life has to offer. The 22 goals will continue in some shape or form, and this post by a friend (with things like: Dance even if there’s no music, Live purposely, etc…) is an inspiration for things that I can incorporate to living fully as well. A word which I hope will drive all my action for the new year is PARTNERSHIP. And this, I’ll seek purposefully!

Readers, I’ll say the same thing to you as I would myself: have yourself a prosperous year ahead! Dreams are fun, but please, let’s take action…in the little ways we can.

Of Dreams and Deeds: One Year Later…

A year ago today, I started this blog, Of Dreams and Deeds. It was meant to chronicle my journey as a dreamer – the actions (deeds) I’m taking to make sure those dreams come true. This blog was created following my experience at LeaderShape. Read the ABOUT page to find out what that means. Really, there’s a couple of reasons to be excited that a year later I’m still writing on here.

First, this blog is more FOR me than it is for others. It’s enabled me to learn how to better navigate this often-bumpy terrain of dreams. I tend to forget…a lot, and coming back to read some of the things I’ve written over the past year has helped redirect my wheels back on the road I’ve steered off. 

Second, it’s the fact that there are people who actually care enough to read this blog. There are people I know, and there are people I don’t.

And without being as wordy as I tend to be, I want to thank every single person who has visited this page. I really don’t care how you got here – whether intentionally or by accident – I just want to believe that whatever you’ve read on here has contributed to your life in the smallest way imaginable.

Below is a snapshot of some of the places in the world where my blog has been read over the past year. It’s kind of exciting!

Of course, there’s still a lot to say about dreams. As long as I’m still alive, and still dreaming, I’ll keep saying all I have to say on this blog (to remind myself how beautiful it is to be a dreamer still) This is all in hopes that someone other than myself can join in the many quests that are yet to be made.

I could go ahead and say that I love everything I’ve written on here and that would be nothing but the truth. However, there are certain posts I find myself coming back to. And just to be honest, there are posts I don’t remember writing.

Judging by the number of views they’ve received, I’ll be sharing the most popular posts on the blog. Do click the titles and you’ll be linked to the original posts.

Here:

Exploration: It’s Human Nature

The post features a Red Bull clip about human exploration. It rightly assesses that “it’s human nature to want to explore, to find your line and go beyond it…” and reminds us that “the only limit is the one you set yourself”

The Makings of Me: On My 22nd Birthday

Man, I was so glad to be 22. The post mentions that “a lot of things I do today have been 22 years in the making. And still, I don’t think I’m there just yet…but there is no doubt that I am very close.” I shared a spoken word poem of mine then, and the words “Did you know, that I am not done?!” masked as a question continue to resound as a declaration for me to keep dreaming! Also, I decided to set some goals for myself (some of them I’ve managed to fail, some I’ve managed to accomplish)

My Deepest Fear

This is one of my favorite posts. It contains some of the most beautiful words I’ve written…EVER. It might have something to do with the fact that I actually truly believe those words. It speaks of “my greatest fear [which] is owning up to the fact that there is absolutely nothing ordinary about me.” I’ve realized from people who’ve read the post that I’m not the only one that suffers from this disease, Mephobia – the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can’t handle it and everybody dies. Well…

I Wonder What My Bedsheets Say

I really do! “…Sometimes I wonder what my bed sheets say about me when I’m not around…” are words from Rudy Francisco. These are words from his poem, My Honest Poem. The poem influenced me to write my own honest poem – an attempt to UNMASK. In essence, this post is about integrity – doing the right thing when no one is looking; the right thing here, telling our stories exactly as they are. No edits! That includes being honest about our failures as well as successes. And if I were to be honest, I haven’t done a really good job at that. 😦

Possibility; It’s an Art

It speaks about the art of possibility, defined by myself as “The production, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance of anything that is possible!” This post is largely influenced by Benjamin Zander’s book aptly titled The Art of Possibility. I have 2 copies for myself, and I’ve given 4 copies out as gifts. If there is anything that speaks to the dreamer in all of us, it’s the fact that “every little thing is possible now”

Honorable Mention:

…& the tears keep flowing

This is a good followup to the post above. I wrote:

If Benjamin Zander, the author of “The Art of Possibility” – a book that continues to shape my life as it pertains to visions, dreams, etc. – were to have been given the chance to assess or judge my life this week, his verdict would be that I have not been living in the realm of possibility, but rather scarcity.

In the post, I give you a glimpse into my life: Nights when I get derailed and lose sight of my dreams. And so, I cry. It features a picture of words from my Journal. Transparency at its best if I may say!  It was an attempt at telling my story the way it is, no edits a la the directives from I Wonder What My BedSheets Say…

There are other posts I’ve written on here that I am really proud of. Of course – being the human I am, not totally free from bias – I might as well give you a link here to every post I’ve written, but I’ll leave you to browse through the blog and find the ones you might enjoy for yourself. Besides, I’d like to believe that’s more fun.

To dream or not to dream: How about all these posts I’ve written on here compiled in a book format one of these days? I already know what I think, but I’d like to hear what you think. Yay? Or Nay? And thanks to WordPress! 1 years though?

…& the tears keep flowing

If Benjamin Zander, the author of “The Art of Possibility” – a book that continues to shape my life as it pertains to visions, dreams, etc. – were to have been given the chance to assess or judge my life this week, his verdict would be that I have not been living in the realm of possibility, but rather scarcity.

This is a attitude to life that tends to lead spirally downward. And that’s exactly how most of this week has been. It’s left me empty, alone, and inadequate to a certain extent. Of course there were moments when I reminded myself (and was reminded by others) that this was no way to live, and got a taste of envisioning myself in a more bountiful state; but those moments were like a grain of sugar in a gallon of sea water. Sooner than later, those moments became overwhelmingly insignificant.

This week, I cried. Yesterday again, I did. Below is a page from what I wrote in my notepad/journal yesterday night.

…the tears keep flowing

This is why I cry.

Sometimes, this dreamer gets lost in pursuing his dreams that he loses himself in the process. He forgets what drove him to chase after those dreams in the first place. He doesn’t remember why he dreamed, nor why he continues to dream.

I write this post to give you a glimpse into nights like yesterday when optimism (living in the realm of possibilities) is not easily accessible to this dreamer. Nights like these are as important as nights I’m inspired to accomplish the things I’ve set my mind to do for me; and ultimately, the world. However, the goal is still in sight. Nights like these, I get derailed and lose sight of my dreams. And so, I cry.

I cry to let my tears – like the rain – wash off the dirt on the windshield of possibility; the vehicle that will transport me to the land of my dreams.

You need not know about this part of my life, but it’s a promise I made in posts such as this one – I Wonder What My Bed Sheets Say – to tell our stories as they are, no edits. This is mine.

It would be a lie for me to only post here about days I am inspired to wake up to work towards achieving my goals when there are nights like yesterday. And nights like yesterday are very much part of the whole story.

And yes, there’ll be nights like these. And yes, it’s OK to feel like you want to give up on your dreams. As long as you don’t!

Addressed, To you:

When was the last time you cried? And what (or who) made you cry? This dreamer would love to hear your own story, do share 🙂

The writer of one of the Psalms rightly note, that “Weeping may last for the night, but there is a song of joy in the morning.”

And below is one of the songs I started my morning with.

Call Me By My Title 2

(In case you didn’t read the first one, you can HERE)

I’ll keep this brief.

I wanted a position that would have given me a title that speaks to the core of me. It passed the test every major decision I make have to pass – whether or not it feeds into my core values: Authenticity, Balance, Creativity, Growth, and Service. Well, I didn’t get the position.

The End!

Now, how’s that for keeping it brief?

Just in case you’re not familiar with the idea behind CALL ME BY MY TITLE, it’s a way of embracing (and even celebrating) failure, missed opportunities, mistakes, etc.

The title I would have assumed, if I was granted the opportunity for this new role, would have been perfect; especially since it’s in the line of the work I foresee myself doing for the rest of my life in the capacity of a school psychologist. Helping humans, and especially kids – since things we are introduced to when we are young tend to mold and shape us into the adults we become! – to realize their full potential is a lifelong passion of mine. The role, as a Behavior Technician, would have enabled me to work with autistic children to help them develop skills (developmental and social) needed for a functional life. Though I missed the chance at this opportunity, you can still call me by that title – for it represents who I am.

So, here’s a toast to a missed opportunity. Cheers!

And just before you think I’m crazy, below is the creed (as regards to failure and missed opportunities) I live by. Mull it over, maybe even try it once, and you might come to the conclusion that I’m not that crazy after all!

Robert Sutton: Reward success and failure, punish inaction!

Yeah, still sounds crazy, right? Well, “It’s important to have tried, and failed than not try at all is the message.”

Before this new approach, receiving the rejection email (no matter how beautifully worded it was!) could have put a damp on my day, but it didn’t!. Well, at least it shouldn’t! – not when the kids I work with presently decided to draw pictures of me! In itself, that’s a reward right there! And they have no clue…

…This Close (Guest Post by @KarlNova)

Below is a guest post by a friend, Karl Nova. He blogs here at: http://karlnova.blogspot.com/ and from time to time, he brings up interesting topics for discussion on twitter: @KarlNova

The reason he’s posting here is because he’s a fellow dreamer. You can go ahead and ask him what he does…don’t tell him I sent you though!

Like I said (I wish!) posted somewhere on this blog:

“You, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one

I hope some day you’ll join us…And the world will be as one” – John Lennon

…And he’s decided to let me post his piece on here as it relates to dreams, and disappointment. If you’ve ever dreamed, and attempted to take the little steps towards that vision, you probably do know what it feels like to be disappointed or discouraged. As you might have noticed by now, music is a significant part of this blog. I’ve posted songs, or lyrics on here…and the title of this piece is part of a line from a song I already posted here as a theme song for one of my core values – service; and I thought it was a befitting title for this piece.

It’s so frustrating when you’re…’this close’ – Alim Kamara

And I’m sure you do agree!

____________ . ___________ . __________________

Karl Nova begins:

Disappointment is a hard thing to deal with.

I hate being let down and I hate letting people down but both have happened quite a lot in my life and even though it sounds pessimistic, I know it will still happen again because you know that’s life innit?

Some who are more eloquent and loquacious than myself will tell you with more grandiose verbosity than I care to muster that “every disappointment is a Divine appointment with destiny” and I do believe that, it’s just that when let downs happen, it takes more than eloquence to numb the pain though it is helpful to be reminded that if we look closer it all could be a blessing in disguise as our wise mothers tell us with comforting tones and encouraging hugs.

The more disappointments happen, the more you try to protect yourself from them happening and what we do is lower our expectations or even walk around expecting let downs to happen even when there is no sign or hint of it. One might even start to reduce their hopes in the name of being “realistic” and one who was once a dreamer about possibilities over time hardens into what they call a “realist” and to be fair one must keep it real and try to be objective but like an old song by Les McCann says “trying to make it real compared to what?”

The thing is we can’t live like that and deep down inside we know this, even the greatest cynic knows this. The late great comedian George Carlin said:

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”

…this is very true. If you ever meet a person that comes off as very cynical about everything, just dig deeper and you might probably unearth a story of someone who has been let down a lot in life. Either that or they have been around people who they have seen let down and seeing all that has affected how they see things generally.

Like I said we can’t live without hopes, dreams and aspirations even if sometimes those things seem like the proverbial carrot dangling from the proverbial stick leading us on. Yes indeed some dreams do seem like a mirage in the desert that you never seem to be able to reach but everyone needs something to aim for or you just live aimlessly with no purpose. No one can live for long like that, even if you don’t know what it is, you sense you were born for a reason. You sense that there is something more than the norm that you are seeing around you that you are here for.

Besides all this, there is the day to day survival that is happening regardless… and you are here, right in the middle of it. Everyday you wake up and life goes on. You are on a journey regardless. As long as you are breathing the journey continues. So my prayer for you and for me as we live is that God will guide us all. I pray that God will heal hearts that have suffered setbacks and that somehow by grace we turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Yes I know it is not easy, yes I know it is easier said, tweeted, facebooked, instagrammed etc than done but we must do this. This one life we’ve been blessed to live on earth has no sequel here. Yeah YOLO and all that but that is not an excuse to live reckless, it is more of a call to treasure every moment you have. You can’t crawl back into your mama’s womb, you can be reborn into a life that extends into eternity though but hey that is a whole other blog 🙂

* * *

Ayo’s Note:

Granted, there are those who might stumble across this – who don’t believe in a god or don’t find prayer helpful in any way, but I do believe (nice word choice, right?) there are lots of things you’ll find helpful in what has been said so far!

I’ll close with these words that resonated with me:

“Everyone needs something to aim for or you just live aimlessly with no purpose. No one can live for long like that, even if you don’t know what it is, you sense you were born for a reason. You sense that there is something more than the norm that you are seeing around you that you are here for.”

My Deepest Fear…

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

I am sitting here at the library and thinking to myself, I can’t lie to myself anymore. I am absolutely tired of it. I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t see streets paved with Gold (on this earth mind you) on which my feet will soon walk on… I can’t pretend anymore that I am nothing special. I can’t lie to myself anymore that I don’t have something to offer the world…that I am not needed here. That I have nothing to contribute.

And the greatest fear of mine is to live up to this truth of my uniqueness. There is a spark that has been deposited in me by my Maker, a light that is not meant to be hidden under a bushel. My fear is coming to terms with the reality that I have a voice the angels in Heaven envy, the kind of voice that mountains are more than willing to echo. My fear is being able to stand up confidently in front of the thousands of people I see before me, and being able to believe them when they tell me that they are here to hear what I have to say….

And I have to say, at this moment, I have to try and sniffle as hard as I can to prevent this drop of tear developing in the corner of my eyes from falling down…I’ll excuse myself after I finish writing this!

My greatest fear is owning up to the fact that there is absolutely nothing ordinary about me. And I am sitting here at the library, thinking to myself, “why did it take this long?”

Why did it take this long, to realize that “my playing small does not serve the world.“, that “there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around me.”

And so, today I let those fears go….

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marianne Williamson

This is in the spirit of the lessons I’ve learned through my LeaderShape experience, coupled with a lot of self-reflection, especially over the past month. I started keeping a Gratitude Journal at the beginning of this month, and I was stupefied as to how much of life I actually missed before now…the simple little things we count as insignificant! Like the smile of a child, the hellos said by strangers, the fact that someone said “thank you” for something you did for them, laughter, music, poetry, running in the rain, the fact that I had something to bite on, the fact that I was able to run, and catch the bus before it passed by me….

And today, just in the space of 12 hours…I received two news that reminded me that there is something in me that others see, which I’ve refused to see for a long time.

One: One of my poems, which I wrote as a memorial for the victims of the Dana Air Crash that happened on June 3rd in Lagos, (my country) Nigeria, was selected to be included in an Anthology meant to commemorate Dana Airlines Flight 9J-992 from Abuja to Lagos, Sunday June 3, 2012.

Two: The mid-course evaluation of my Philosophy Professor, who at the end of his helpful comments wrote: “Keep up the overall consistently strong work” This is a very challenging class, as a boatload of work has to be done over a period of 5 weeks. Gruesome to say the least! And so far, I’m in the A minus range, and it might stay that way if I, according to my Professor again, continue to “keep up the good work in class!”

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. – Marianne Williamson

As for me, I am done with being fearful of how awesome I am…

MEPHOBIA: Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can’t handle it, and everyone dies.

…And I give you permission to go do the same.

Life is too beautiful not to dream. This is the purpose of this blog, to document those dreams, and the deeds that are being done as I journey to achieve them. However, I am interested in not only documenting mine, but others’ as well…which leads us all to the next chapter of this journey.

More about that soon….

In the meantime,

If your heart turns blue, I want you to remember
This song is for you, and you are full of wonder

Oh, The Maze!

This post (now edited) was originally posted here —-> It was meant to highlight how I employed this principle below:

In his book, “Weird Ideas That Work” (which I just got in the mail a few days ago, *but only skimmed through) Robert Sutton says that we should reward our failures and successes but punish inaction.

June 25th, 5:07 PM

Today was very interesting. I don’t want to ramble as much as I would love to, partly because I don’t really have much time to post this…and I really want to post it now, it’s been sitting in the draft folder few days now.

Maybe these tweets will give an idea what it’s basically about!

Can’t find the location I’m supposed to go but still 2nd guessing asking for help smh

— Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Okay that wasn’t so bad…I asked, but if I don’t get it this time…I think it’s homebound — Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Whoo…and I hate directions. But I asked and I might just get where I’m going…hopefully. — Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Ahaha, this is not funny yo. Now battery’s low…

— Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

#EpicFail I didn’t get to where I’m going. Gonna go get me some ice cream & head home. -> Reward your successes & failures, punish inaction.

— Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

Well, because my failure today, I at least got a pint of ice-cream out of it, which might not have happened otherwise… #worthit — Ayo Falomo (@aeWHYoh) June 25, 2012

If it still doesn’t make sense, maybe these will?

@aeWHYoh the maze… — Michelle A. (@MiiChiLe) June 25, 2012

@aeWHYoh how fascinating!

— Michelle A. (@MiiChiLe) June 25, 2012

What exactly happened today, and what is the maze? How fascinating? What does these all mean?

July 12th, around 6 PM

I was at the Menil Collection, a very nice museum here in Houston where I live. In the midst of all the awesome artworks, paintings, drawings, and all the other incomprehensible art forms in there which I found, one stood out. It was Frank Stella’s “Avicenna”, which I sadly now can’t find a very good picture of online. This one below is pretty much close to what it was. It’s a work by him as well. It reminds me of a maze…and or like Michelle tweeted, “the maze”

I’m sure you’re still wondering what in the world “the maze” is! Patience dear, patience!

Well, long story short:

June 25th, …AM till something PM.

Today, I tried to get somewhere that I really wanted to go (I almost changed my mind about going) but couldn’t get there! I tried and tried to find the location AND couldn’t. I was on the phone with the person I was to meet, and he kept directing me, over and over again…AND still I didn’t get it. I actually never do! I was circling the whole neighborhood…on my feet, which are pretty much sore at this moment. Picturing me with a sad face wouldn’t be questioned, but rather it’s inverted, i.e I have something like this –> 🙂 on my face …

I applied Robert Sutton’s rule and got myself a pint of ice cream. So, not a bad day altogether.

Now for the maze, its history can be traced back to my experience at LeaderShape (remember how I said every post on here is going to refer to my experience there? Read the ABOUT section if you don’t know what I’m talking about). During one of the challenge courses, we were blindfolded, and told to find our ways out of a maze made of  ropes that kind of interlocked at some points. We were told that if we needed help, we should just call for it anytime. I was thinking to myself what do I need help for? All I need to do is find my way out of the maze, simple enough! The trick though was that there was really no way out…the only way out being for one to ask for help.

I was one of the two last persons to get out in the group of about 12 or so people that walked the maze!

All I said was (frustrated at this point) “Okay, Jeff can you help me?”, and he removed my blindfold…only to see everyone else standing outside!

As you would have guessed, I was furious!

To get out, all I had to do was ask for help! But…

“Ask for help? Like, really?” That’s what you have to do in order to get out?

And the “how fascinating” part? It’s what we learned (at LeaderShape) to say whenever we made any mistake!

So, you can join us too, and stop taking yourself too seriously…Failure is part of life. Learn from em, and move on. Quit sulking!

Revised: Call Me By My Title – Writing Consultant

Writing consultant! That’s an awesome title, don’t you agree? Well, it’s the kind of title that comes along with working with the Writing Center of the school I attend – University of Houston – where I graduate from this Fall.

Anyways, I love writing, that’s for you who doesn’t know already! The aim was to do something before I graduate where my love for writing is put to use (and wouldn’t mind that it’s paid too) So when I heard about this opportunity at the Writing Center, through Sarayu, who was my Family Cluster Facilitator at LeaderShape, I was really stoked. I got back from LeaderShape and emailed them right away! And we fixed an interview date for a couple of days afterwards. This was in March. They told me to bring a sample of my writing, and I took along one which I wrote for my Literature & Medicine class. It was an awesome experience, I tell you. I even caught a glimpse of one of the interviewers reading the paper, and I could tell she was feeling it.

The interview was really incredible, and it went really well…as per the standard of how well an interview could possibly go. The questions that were asked were interesting, and I got the chance to answer them as honestly as I could. It was amazing! During the course of the interview I even got the chance to say a couple of lines that made the people doing the interview laugh. It really was amazing. I was asked about my future goals, my current goals, what lessons I’ve learned from experiences I penned down on my resume, etc. Awesome stuff like that! And after the interview, I shook hands with the three of them, and they informed me that they were going to email me about their decision.

I hadn’t even left there when I already started working my schedule for the Fall semester around it. I was really excited, and I was very confident I was going to get it.

So, good news and bad news…which would you like to hear first? Only the tricky thing though is that there is no bad news!

Ready?

I got an email from the Writing Center in the morning of June 19th. They informed me that they were really glad I did the interview with them AND that they didn’t have a position for me for the Fall. Awesome, right?

See what I did there? I put AND where maybe before now I would have put BUT! (This is something I learned from LeaderShape, either from Jose Estrada, or Vanessa, not sure! They said “Use AND instead of BUT…”)

Thankfully though, but is almost becoming extinct in my vocabulary arsenal nowadays…I don’t need it! At least not when one is thinking of endless opportunities.

I’m sure you’re probably thinking right now, this guy is a total idiot!!!? Who in the world writes in this manner about an opportunity they desperately want AND didn’t get? Well, you’re right, ME! However, I’m not alone though.

In his book, “Weird Ideas That Work” (which I just got in the mail a few days ago, *but only skimmed through) Robert Sutton says that we should reward our failures and successes but punish inaction.

Similar to that idea is this quote from Theodore Roosevelt (which I stole from Jeremy Gutsche’s  “Exploiting Chaos”, another book I got in the mail a few days ago, *but only skimmed through)

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in that grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat  – Theodore Roosevelt

So, see I’m not alone! It’s important to have tried, and failed than not try at all is the message. And hey, you get to learn one or two things along the way too. So bring out your most expensive glasses, open up that wine you’ve been saving for years because there is a huge cause to celebrate here…yeah, let’s toast to our failures – perceived or actual!

Juan, another awesome friend from LeaderShape told me that every NO (rejection; which is what we see them as) is a step closer to hearing that YES!

But before those YES-es? I say, it’s about freakin’ time we start celebrating them! – our failures that is.

And after you’ve gotten yourself drunk off of that wine, maybe you can listen to this song by Coldplay, called Lost! I’m sure Chris was drunk too when he wrote it, because what sober person says this:

Just because I’m losing, doesn’t mean I’m lost

And in the remixed version of the same song, which is called Lost+, Shawn Carter, the featured artist asks an all too important question, he says:

And the question is, “Is to have had and lost better than not having at all?”